Forgive me... I can't help but go. I'm afraid I may be otherwise engaged at a more appropriate time (like when Celia turns 2, and her sibling is due) but it's a path you don't really plan to take, rather it takes you. I've been taken, recently, by lots of memories. Celia is 22 months old today. She's a big girl. A toddler, even though she doesn't toddle.
At 9 months, she began a brief affair with language. She waved and said "hi" to everyone and everything. She had a way of capturing the attention of everyone in a room with that one word. She had us all at "hello"...
She also courted the word "shoe," pointing out shoes wherever we went, and I often replay in my mind the way she made that little 'sh' sound. I hope my memory of her laugh doesn't fade before she finds it again. There were things that invariably made her laugh - blowing in her hair, spinning her around, a sniffing, puckered-lip expression we called the "silly face," tossing her on the couch (there's video on YouTube - CEB Couch Toss - that Andy revisited recently, describing her laughter as "riotous." He misses it, too).She used to spend lots of time in front of the mirror. She shared her toys with her mirror friend, and did some of her best walking when she headed toward the mirror.
Today we don't hear words or laughter. We miss the smiles and the steps. The intervening months have required courage and caused tears - they're not months I'll want to revisit. I imagine caring for a typical two year old may require courage and cause tears, but perhaps in different quantities and for different reasons. Until things improve, though, we have good memories and are willing to be taken back to them...
JEB
Memories. I like 'em. They keep me warm...I pick and choose the ones I keep closest, and I've been blessed with the ability to shoo away (unconsciously, even)the ones better left alone. I think the strength of our ability to treasure our memories is directly proportional to our ability to keep moving forward: we become believers that today we're creating memories that will keep our hearts warm tomorrow, when we need it most.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully said, Diana.
ReplyDeleteI'll add that the photographs allow us to keep close those precious moments that keep our hearts warm as we look so very forward to whatever is coming next.
Grandma Jan