I pause to be with her. I conduct a unilateral dialogue while she is mute as fallen snow, but her eyes move under lavender lids and I believe her heart hears mine.
With hyperreal clarity I sense every minute detail and tuck each carefully into my mind. Her manifold seductions of beauty -- rusty corkscrew curls, eyelashes charcoal against fair, flawless skin, delicate vertebral knobs -- are folded into my heart in hopes that a bit of her will always orbit the ventricles there.
I recognize this whole experience as a shadow of my own mortality and I wonder how a mother can live past her soul. We shift, together on the edge of eternity, her contours cleave to my curves, her comfort becomes my own.
I love this girl.
If you live in Central Ohio and are interested in another way to fight Batten Disease, please click the Current Fundraisers tab at the top to learn more about St. Stephen's Shrove Tuesday Pancake Dinner on March 8th. As long as she's not too worn out from turning four, Celie girl will be there.
And she loves you......forever and always
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJoce said...
ReplyDeleteWish we could be there......Miles separate us but we are hoping for a great turn out......and lots of money for BDRSA.
Jenni, Celie has to know your love when you so eloquently pour it out with every word you write. We love you all.
Your words leave me in shambles...your heart leaves me warm...her smile I can feel all the way to my toes.
ReplyDeleteThis brought tears to my eyes. I see my own family so much in yours as we have a daughter just a few weeks younger than Celie and a son a couple months older than Tucker. Celie is a beautiful soul . . . it is so clear from her pictures.
ReplyDeleteCelia is beautiful!! I have never heard of Batten disease and thank you for sharing your story so I can know more about it and how to help. You have a way with words, I love your posts.
ReplyDelete