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12.15.2011

For Tuck's Sake

Tucker is irrefutably cute.  But there are things about him that may not be so obvious, that can't be captured in photographs.  During this time of transition for our family he has seemed particularly fragile, crying when his brother cries, apologizing profusely when he's afraid he may have disappointed us.  He goes from lacing Christmas tree patterns to tearing the paper, from assembling floor puzzles to throwing the pieces.
In the space of a second his face morphs from calm complacency to impervious belligerence.  And then, after fireworks flash from his eyes, those same dark brown orbs seem to whisper I love you, and I hope he knows that whatever our eyes say, our hearts are always whispering the very same thing.
Tuck has such a vibrant spirit, it seems perfectly natural that it's exhibited not only in sweet, gentle gestures but also in the occasional colorful outburst.  His attempts to adjust have not manifested as hostility toward Tollie; instead he has new default settings - yelling and whining, tearing and throwing.  It's certainly common for an older sibling to feel jealousy toward a newborn and to react to the upheaval, to the feelings of displacement, by acting out. 
Really though, Tuck's fondness for Tollie seems as primary as his resentment.  He is interested in and affectionate toward the baby, and he takes delight in helping care for his new brother.  It is very clear to us that genuine love resides alongside rivalry.  Tucker still needs to know where everyone is - Celie is on her couch, Tollie is in his "basement crib," Colby is at RoRo's...
And I see it in his eyes again, the very same I love you, when he looks at his new sibling.  Perhaps the skepticism will go away, perhaps the yelling and whining will too, but I sure hope the tenderness, the protectiveness, never does.  For Tollie's sake, and for Tuck's too.
JEB

3 comments:

  1. I want a "puffy coat" like Tuck's. AND, if I don't get one, I'm going to bite Grandma Sandy.

    L2A5

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  2. You're very perceptive and very positive. I love your posts!

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  3. Gabe was an absolute nightmare when Matthew was born. I would cry and cry thinking that I had ruined him. I thought we needed a psychologist...or an exorcist. But he got over it and now they're the best of buddies. I think it's just really hard to share your Momma...especially when their sister already takes so much time (my Olivia!). :) Hang in there.

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