I can scarcely think of anything I'd rather record.

When he woke from a nap last week, Tuck said, "Celie talked. She talked."  I hope she continues to speak in his dreams for years to come.
When he finds a container that’s empty, he declares, "There's no something in this box."

When he wants to snuggle, he asks, "Will you sit benext to me?"

When we asked him, for at least the tenth time, to stop plucking the "white pine cones" from the peace lily buds, because it hurts the plant, he replied, "Lily is not sad.  She don't have any face."
When we shared some of his sister's special dresses with friends he saw them and said, "Those dresses are Celia's.  She was a girl."
He refers to her memorial service as "Celia's goodbye party."

He mixes tense, present and past.  He creates his own words, and his own realities.  He verbalizes delight without dialogue. 
And somehow his every expression, his every idea, alleviates a layer of sorrow.
When thoughts gallop through my head like wild stallions, the kind that can trample both spirit and sanity, it helps to take note of Tucker's talk.


  1. this post is masterful and moving- and, quite possibly, my favorite. thinking of your family.

  2. I am so thankful you have him. The "Celie talked to me!" gave me chills. I love the idea of her coming to him in his dreams. I'm sure you do too.

  3. Her "Goodbye Party". How utterly perfect! "Celie talked to me" left me absolutely breathless as well. Incredible.

    Kids are amazing.

  4. Tears, chills, and a great big smile......Tucker is blessed to have a relationship with Celia that spans the universe and what a blessing he is to share it!

  5. Right on, Impatient Patient. Could not have said it better.

    Although I can't pick a favorite, really.

    Darling, dear, precious boy - and his brother - and his sister.

    Always thinking of you,

    Cathy in Missouri

  6. Jenni Baby,

    If you would allow T to spend more time with Grandma Sandy...I think you will find his vocabulary becomes more "colorfully" enhanced. Just sayin'.


  7. I like Poppy's comment :)
    Just sayin'.

  8. This from the young lady who taught me about ghost poop, dingbells, and afflatus -- fank you so much!

  9. I think it is certain that Tucker and Tollie have a guardian angel with red curls watching over them!

  10. He got me at the first one, "Celie talks" One of my many prayers for him since I knew of him and Celia is that he would have special, vivid, joyful memories of Celia. How special that God would make a way for her to talk to him from heaven.
    Love and hugs and prayers,

  11. The words don't exist to express the feelings this story churns up. I do hope that Celia continues to talk to all of you. What a blessing she continues to be-and that you all are to so many of us. I love seeing your posts always-thank you for staying in touch with us all, even though I know you must be exhausted. Stay strong, mama-you're amazing and we send our love and hugs!!!!

    Love from the Pac NW,
    Cate, Zoey and Junior