Celia should have started school this morning.
But she wouldn’t have gone to school anyway, I hear. True, she wouldn’t have, but the daughter of our dreams did not get sick and die, the one whose hair I would have braided, the one whose crown Andy would have kissed as he wished her luck. She would have spent the summer losing teeth and diving off the board and learning to read, and we would have sent her to school today. We would have clutched the camera, giving each other nostalgic glances as we watched her clean sneakers step into the classroom.
Celia's illness and death sort of reset the beginning for our family. We won't have first-day-of-school photos to share for a few more years. But, as Andy reminded me earlier this week, we might not have had him either.
I'm thinking of you and saying a prayer for you this morning. I want you to know she hasn't been forgotten, not even by a stranger across the states who fell in love with springy red curls and a beautiful spirit.
ReplyDeleteJenni Baby,
ReplyDeleteJust think about how many of our relatives, who are now in heaven, were teachers...the school bells ARE ringing. Sit down...shut up...and pay attention Celia.
L2A
Poppy
Oh Jenni,
ReplyDeletemy heart hurts
it isn't fair
I think she will be there for many first days along side her brothers
but she should be there today
courtney
Sending you love.
ReplyDeletePraying for you. I can't imagine the unending line of milestones you have to pass through. Much like the commenter above, know that I think of Celia often, and I am a total stranger to your family. Thank you for sharing your tough times as well as your happier times.
ReplyDeleteTears.
ReplyDeleteAudriana and Poppy John,
thank you
for words.
Mine are out, today.
But you said it all.
Cathy in Missouri
This made me cry today. Wishing all those dreams for Celia could have come true. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard all these firsts that "should be" are for you. Thinking of you through it all.
ReplyDelete