I feel frustrated by the inconvenience of his constant desire to be in my arms. Especially in the middle of the night.
Maybe his teeth hurt. He bites my shoulder, always the right one,
because I carry him attached to my right hip. My shoulder is littered
with red indentations and small purple bruises.
But he also pats my back, his warm hand soft against my skin. And it
feels doubly sweet.
Perhaps the pain amplifies the pleasure.
It’s hard to be a parent when your convictions fall prey to your heart. It's hard to be a parent. Especially in the middle of the night.
I put him down and he whines for my embrace, his arms reach for me. I look at him and think that there is nothing I wouldn’t give to cradle his sister. So I pick him up, my body forever available to this miraculous little boy. Perhaps the pain amplifies the pleasure.