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9.02.2015

BIG (little) news

I've been meaning to post here, but have not been able to wrangle words into their proper places.

I've been beyond happy, beyond grateful, someplace without language, wondering
 what could possibly be said that would say the rest too?

Andy's phone rang recently, and a smile spread across his face.  He whispered healthy, and it sounded like such a small word.

Even before that, there hadn't been a whole lot to say.
Please.  It was all I allowed myself this summer, that one small plea an endless prayer.

The problem with trying hard not to think about something is that you think about it more.
It took awhile for us to decide we might be ready for another round of resilience.
There are always lots of reasons not to do something.

Standing at the intersection of two vastly different futures, we struggled to see into the distance of either.  Knowing the universe is not in the habit of dropping into our laps exactly what we’ve dreamed of, we worried that maybe we wanted too much, one miracle after another.
But we were sure we wanted our choices to reflect our hopes more than our fears.
Becoming a parent is bold and dangerous.  Being a parent is too.
There are never any guarantees.  Any number of horrible scenarios could play out - between now and March, in the first few years, when this child is twenty-three.  What we do know, finally, is that this child will not die of Batten Disease.  What we do know is that growing a family is terrifying and precarious and unknown and very humbling and extraordinarily awesome.  And we are thrilled, and relieved, that ours is still growing.

We feel lucky, if lucky is a big enough word for it, and look forward to welcoming another little Betz boy in about six months.
our doctor sent home an essential oil -Joy- for us to diffuse during the long wait
 best news ever
 big brother, baking
 we did dream
 more Legos, more Lincoln Logs, more dirt and noise!
all three Betz boys on the field in the Shoe

17 comments:

  1. CONGRATS!! Very exciting.

    I go to your blog for insight and another perspective of the world and I feel that I've gained so much from reading. SO excited for all of you.

    <3

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  2. AHHHHH!!!! I've been waiting, maybe not as patiently as you, for it to be in print. And, of course, I have tears again. #fbatten

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  3. so so so happy for you all!

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  4. What wonderful news! Congratulations!

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  5. So terribly, wonderfully happy for your family. And again, the way you put it all into words, made my heart full.

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  6. So very happy!! So much love to you and your boys! Excited to see you grow and go through this journey of babies again. It will be here so quickly!

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  7. What exciting news, Jenni! Congratulations. :-)

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  8. Wonderful news.....congratulations!!!!

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  9. Jenni Baby,

    So happy. However, you'll need two more boys to have a basketball team.

    L2A

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  10. I am so excited for you all. Congratulation!

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  11. God bless you all. [march] sweet Samantha and mike

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  12. Congrats to your family! I'm elated for you. Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months! There is no one more deserving.

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