Sunday

We went to church this morning. It'd been too long since we'd been there. It was Tucker's first time in the nursery. He didn't get a five star report, but they'll let him come back. Good thing he's cute.
I sat with Mom during worship. We don't spend much time just sitting next to each other. She had time to study my toes, and told me she remembered when she could fit all of them in her mouth. Baby toes are so yummy. She asked if I'd had my wedding rings cleaned recently. I had, mostly because I developed a pregnancy related allergy again this time, and a fresh rhodium coating cures the rawness. But I also explained that I've noticed, on numerous occasions, that my rings just look prettier in church. The diamonds are more dazzling and the platinum gleams most radiantly there. I guess that just makes sense though, that a symbol of our marriage sparkles more in the Lord's house, where the reflection of his love makes everything, and everyone, shine.
I won't get to lean over and tell Celia that I remember when her toes were tiny and tasty. I won't get to pass down Grandma Eleanor's ring to her, for a fourth generation to wear. Those things make me sad. Lots of things make me sad lately. It's been a tough week, for a variety of reasons. Celia needed more medicine than she has before, crying for nearly 36 hours straight. Several opportunities to see other children play, in the way that all children should play, made me wish I could cry for 36 hours or so myself.
Whether I'm in church or not, I realize the darkness, or the light, will fall on me - on my toes and my rings and my heart - and it will wrap around me, depending on where I choose to sit. I'm reaching for the light.

JEB