It's harder to watch it happen.
There are these jagged days, the kind that leave me emotionally gutted, when any semblance of a composed exterior cracks open to reveal the entire bewildering ordeal.
I know I am entitled to anger, but I feel like it's a disgrace to grasp at it.
I know one of the greatest gifts I can give myself through grief is permission to be where I am, to feel what I feel, to live without frustration or judgment.
JEB
Be gracious to yourself, my friend.
ReplyDeleteJenni Baby,
ReplyDeleteYour post rips my heart out...but, I'm so proud of the strength that you and Andy display.
L2A5 (and Christy's family, too)
Jenni & Andy
ReplyDeleteI hope you can feel our arms and love wrapped around your whole family.
Our specifics are different, but so much of what you write here resonates. I sent some of your posts to my Mother, and she wanted to know how you so perfectly put into words what we feel.
ReplyDeleteBecause you are living it.
I know, also - the anger...it comes and it hovers, but it doesn't satisfy. I wish that stopped it from surfacing, but I do battle in that arena more than I want.
And I do battle on your behalf, too (in my head) because I hate a disease that does this to a child. To Your Child.
Oh, Celia. I pray for you and for your family with a heart broken in some familiar ways. You help me keep going, but it isn't worth the price. I wish I could take it and leave you free.
Here with tears,
Cathy in Missouri
Oh, Maggie, I think you said it perfectly.
ReplyDeleteBatten sure does play dirty.
Understatement.
Cathy in Missouri