What I've always thought - Jenni, Andy - is about your bravery.
You let people in. Let us in - let us know you your boys Celia
That's brave
I admire that bravery. It feels like sacred ground, your opening this door.
What I've always feared - is somehow trampling, hurting, trespassing
God forbid, dishonoring
this sacred space
How are you supposed to feel about strangers hearts falling to earth or rising on wings
concerning the life - or death - of your child?
The other day, when you were found again - I read and read and read. I went back to the beginning. I read it all. The story of Celia, every scrap, each word, those pictures.
And poured my eyes out on my desk. Sore and angry and wishful and broken because of what happened to Celia - and to you.
And - beyond words surging, reckless, joyful because of your growing sons...they couldn't be any more loved in the world than they are in your arms.
I thought, what if I tell them and it hurts more? What if saying hello bruises their hearts? Or stirs what they'd want left still? If I press my hand and it feels hard, not soft - oh
I almost went away quietly.
I'm glad if this happened: You know how very much, deeply much, always-ever-lasting much your Celia and your family matter to other people. Your bravery matters. Your willingness to share the unthinkable, to write what can't be written - but write it anyway
That you - all of you - Poppy John - rht - you all would be so welcoming
Well - I can't say it's a surprise. That's the family I remember here. That's what you're like, what you always were.
These comments are too long but I won't fight them
they want to say
Thank You Thank You Thank You
Anything good I could ever wish for anyone, I wish for you.
CiM
"Death ends a life, not a relationship." {Laura Beck}
Cathy - not sure how you feel about hugging strangers, but consensus here is you should probably visit Ohio. There's a line of folks who want to meet you, and say thanks.
You don't feel like strangers. I'd need a large box of kleenex to get through that line of hug and hello!
If I ever make it to Ohio, you can bet I won't miss you. A friend just came back from visiting family there. I sighed because she'd been so close to your neck of the woods. Maybe someday, me, too.
What I've always thought - Jenni, Andy - is about your bravery.
ReplyDeleteYou let people in. Let us in - let us know you
your boys
Celia
That's brave
I admire that bravery. It feels like sacred ground, your opening this door.
What I've always feared - is somehow trampling, hurting, trespassing
God forbid, dishonoring
this sacred space
How are you supposed to feel about strangers hearts falling to earth or rising on wings
concerning the life - or death - of your child?
The other day, when you were found again - I read and read and read. I went back to the beginning. I read it all. The story of Celia, every scrap, each word, those pictures.
And poured my eyes out on my desk. Sore and angry and wishful and broken because of what happened to Celia - and to you.
And - beyond words surging, reckless, joyful because of your growing sons...they couldn't be any more loved in the world than they are in your arms.
I thought, what if I tell them and it hurts more? What if saying hello bruises their hearts? Or stirs what they'd want left still? If I press my hand and it feels hard, not soft - oh
I almost went away quietly.
I'm glad if this happened: You know how very much, deeply much, always-ever-lasting much your Celia and your family matter to other people. Your bravery matters. Your willingness to share the unthinkable, to write what can't be written - but write it anyway
That you - all of you - Poppy John - rht - you all would be so welcoming
Well - I can't say it's a surprise. That's the family I remember here. That's what you're like, what you always were.
These comments are too long but I won't fight them
they want to say
Thank You
Thank You
Thank You
Anything good I could ever wish for anyone, I wish for you.
CiM
"Death ends a life, not a relationship." {Laura Beck}
Cathy - not sure how you feel about hugging strangers, but consensus here is you should probably visit Ohio. There's a line of folks who want to meet you, and say thanks.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a dream come true.
ReplyDeleteYou don't feel like strangers. I'd need a large box of kleenex to get through that line of hug and hello!
If I ever make it to Ohio, you can bet I won't miss you. A friend just came back from visiting family there. I sighed because she'd been so close to your neck of the woods. Maybe someday, me, too.
CiM