Jenni does a wonderful job painting a pretty picture of our lives on this blog. The truth sometimes doesn't smell so sweet. In fact, the past 8 months have been down right shitty. One mysterious daughter-stealing regression/illness, one failed (and very expensive) business venture, and one father with a very blocked artery -- these things by themselves are fairly shitty, but when combined tend to, even more, conjure up thoughts of a steaming pile of used-up food.
Forget about the recession, wars, gas prices, global warming... I don't really give a crap. I just won't open my 403b statements, ever vote for a Bush, or drive my car to work in warm weather! Instead, someone please tell me what's wrong with my daughter, promise me my next kid will be okay, and tell me my dad will live to meet his great-grandchildren!
I can honestly say that I have never anticipated a New Year so much in my life. The symbolic flushing of 2008 into the sewers of recent history should provide some momentary satisfaction as we wipe clean the slate that was 08.
Is that Baby New Year punishing the porcelain one last time in '08? Hope she lit a match...
In anticipation of good things to come,
Andy
PS. I really took that "Please don't shit here" photo. And no, I didn't stencil it myself; it was already there, behind the hardware store near Kroger here in Grandview.
PPS. I didn't have the opportunity to use all of my toilet euphemisms here, so expect future blog entries to contain references to growing a tail, launching the corn canoe, that one's shaped like Michigan, etc.
In anticipation of good things to come,
Andy
PS. I really took that "Please don't shit here" photo. And no, I didn't stencil it myself; it was already there, behind the hardware store near Kroger here in Grandview.
PPS. I didn't have the opportunity to use all of my toilet euphemisms here, so expect future blog entries to contain references to growing a tail, launching the corn canoe, that one's shaped like Michigan, etc.
4 comments:
Teh Bub,
According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2008 is the Year of the Rat, an animal that is associated with death, war, the occult, pestilence, and atrocities (not to mention - downright ugly.)
I don't know if I've told you that Santa Barbara is overrun with rats in the streets at night (no, it's not ALL beauty all the time out here). Anyway - I think it's no coincidence that Sebi caught one for the first time on our walk tonight: his way, I think, of saying "F@*% YOU 2008!!"
2009 is the Year of the Ox, whose primary characteristics are steadiness, strength, and perseverance -- and the forecast is prosperity through fortitude. You've always set a good example for me of plowing through adversity. Can't wait to get home and help lighten the load...
xoxo
Kate
ps. I forgive you for contributing to my hilarity-based incontinence.
Thank you, Kate, for telling us about the Year of the Ox. And I'm glad Sebi got that rat!!! I share Andy's sentiments on so many levels, and am looking forward to saying goodby to '08.
Among the craziness, though, are the many blessing we have been given; especially one copper-haired sunshiny wonder whom we love more than I can express.
I think the soon arrival of Baby Betz is testiment to all of the joys we have coming to us in the new year.
Happy 2009!
Grandma Jan
Piggyback to Kate Baby's post...
PC(Porch Cat) has been here for 6 months and we have never seen him chase anything except leaves blowing in the wind. This morning Sandy found two mice on the outside kitchen steps...she called them "rats." Coincidence???
Andy, the tone of your blog sounds as though you may need some stress relief. Blowing shit up helps me. My neighbor has an AR 50 which will take out an engine block at 1 1/2 miles. 671 grains of diplomacy. Come on down if you wish; it may be 2009 but we could blow up "2008" together...M/F'ing rats.
Happy New Year,
Love to all 4
As a big believer that every family should have bathroom pooping rules, I'm with you. 2008 was poopy.
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