It is not a contest, this parenting thing. It doesn’t matter who stays home and who commutes to work. Whose child has the worst illness or whose has never had an ear infection. Who pulls all nighters and who naps at naptime. Who's dog-eared more child-rearing books or who’s never needed to look at one. Who copes best with a nightmare or who lives a dream. Who pays for the best nanny or who relies on grandparents too much. Who makes repeated PB&Js on white bread and who shops organic and serves fruit with every meal. Who fills their children with formula or who contributes disposable diapers to landfills. Who holds themselves to the highest level of perfection or who is comfortable with mediocrity and without guilt.
Mothering is more than milk. It is more than advocacy or discipline, more than money or time. It is definitely not a contest. And anyway, as soon as your baby is born, you win.
JEB
5 comments:
Oh Jenni, you have no idea how my heart needed this tonight.
Great post.
Well said.
And the second-guessing will still be a part of you when he is a grown man because this mothering job is without exception the most important contribution that you will ever make to this world. You want to do it the best that can be done, and you will question the rights and wrongs because you are only stiving to find the best way. Be easy on yourself. Their smiles are your affirmation!
I too needed to hear this today. This morning I had to deal with leaving a child who really believed he needed me to stay with him and I had to overrule his need with my desire for him to learn to be independent. Spent the whole time wondering what I'd done wrong to have "that kid" who was screaming and whose hands had to be extracted from my hair so I could walk out the door. Second guessing myself even as we're back home and back to normal. Thanks for the reminder!!!
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