It's harder to watch it happen.
There are these jagged days, the kind that leave me emotionally gutted, when any semblance of a composed exterior cracks open to reveal the entire bewildering ordeal.
I know I am entitled to anger, but I feel like it's a disgrace to grasp at it.
I know one of the greatest gifts I can give myself through grief is permission to be where I am, to feel what I feel, to live without frustration or judgment.
5 comments:
Be gracious to yourself, my friend.
Jenni Baby,
Your post rips my heart out...but, I'm so proud of the strength that you and Andy display.
L2A5 (and Christy's family, too)
Jenni & Andy
I hope you can feel our arms and love wrapped around your whole family.
Our specifics are different, but so much of what you write here resonates. I sent some of your posts to my Mother, and she wanted to know how you so perfectly put into words what we feel.
Because you are living it.
I know, also - the anger...it comes and it hovers, but it doesn't satisfy. I wish that stopped it from surfacing, but I do battle in that arena more than I want.
And I do battle on your behalf, too (in my head) because I hate a disease that does this to a child. To Your Child.
Oh, Celia. I pray for you and for your family with a heart broken in some familiar ways. You help me keep going, but it isn't worth the price. I wish I could take it and leave you free.
Here with tears,
Cathy in Missouri
Oh, Maggie, I think you said it perfectly.
Batten sure does play dirty.
Understatement.
Cathy in Missouri
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