11.19.2012

Through Thick

On Sunday, hard wooden pews and sunlight filtered through stained glass, half closed eyes on dark floors and hands folded in laps.  On Monday, spent flowers plucked from frost bitten plants and trash picked up from the side of the road, heads warm under hand knit hats and borrowed books from the lowest shelves.  On any given day, God, Mother Nature, church, religion, it’s all around.

Over the weekend a young lady named Hannah died.  She was the youngest of three siblings, all of whom had Batten disease.  I don't know the family, and I won't say I can't imagine their grief.  I can imagine, I just don't want to.  I do hope her parents are able to feel peace, to find places where comfort folds itself around them like wings and small voices pipe encouragement within.

When Celia died, we did not choose a spot for her body to rest.  Cemeteries seem to exist to comfort the living, to consecrate places dedicated not so much to the mourned but to the act of mourning itself.  For us, a grave sounds like a place of death, a place we would not be inclined to visit.  We are more interested in places, besides our own hearts, where Celia lives. 
BSPC memorial garden.  A thin place.  Insta image via rht3627

She doesn’t fill our living space or make daily demands, but she’s still here, very present.  We've discovered spots where the distance between heaven and earth collapses and becomes thin, times when the divine comes closer and the transcendent can almost be caught.  Cathedrals and cemeteries, yes, but libraries and airports and gardens and kitchens, too.  She's all around.

Tuck keeps selecting the same thick, fleece footed jammies, jungle green with a monkey print.  They end up unzipped and inside out and crumpled at the foot of the bed by morning.  He doesn't choose them because they're soft or because they're warm, but because they were Celia's.  Perhaps they feel thin, or a bit like angel wings.
JEB

3 comments:

rht said...

I love that Celia's all around. And she is; I find her in scraps of fabric, in organ music and birdsong, in her beautiful pink day gown that hangs upstairs, and in unexpected thin moments. Thank you, Celia, for bringing me smiles as well as tears.

Groves said...

She is - that's right. All around.

Red heads, I find around every bend - and my eyes follow. Sometimes I say something. Sometimes not.

But Celia is always there.

And Brave, too...all that red. (Not to mention *brave* - her family, also.)

I will always miss your Girl.

Remembering,

Cathy in Missouri

Tiffany said...

I know she's all around. I think of her often...and you and the boys. And I think Tollie definitely chooses those jammies for a reason. Definitely.