It's not all about him.

Just mostly.

Hey, where are my underwear?  Underwear don’t have walking feet, they can’t just move away from ya.  Until you put your human legs through the holes, then they can move. 

I want to know about why my heart is making quiet boom booms?  I'll wait and ask Dad.

As I stirred in cream, Look, it's a coffee-tex! (a variation of water-tex, which should actually be vortex)

I went on a trip to Centikobia.  My cousins came with me.  We went to the Centikobia zoo.  They let me bring home a red fox to our house.  I cooked him dinner and put water in a bowl for him.

Let’s read Diarrhea of a Worm (the book is actually called Diary of a Worm)

Do you hear that tor-mato siren? 

Hey, I found an animal what looks like a pinecone! (a porcupine)

I don’t have any more hugs. And I’m empty of kisses too. 

I built our house with the workers.  They gave me a special jacket that was just my size and special shoes that were just my size and all their trucks came here and we worked hard to build this whole house.

And: Just take care of your own self, Mom, which may very well earn its own post soon.