twelve

Dear Tolliver,

You are twelve!

All summer long, from sunup to sundown, you were set free in the woods, meeting the world with slides on your feet and hands in the dirt. Most days you're required to attend sixth grade now, but after school and on the weekends you remain outside and impervious to things like cold and hunger and time. Even in the rain, you always seem to do something good with bad weather. It's like the outside is inside everything you do.

You are both a wild animal, and the best boy. You are resolute and self-possesed, both cautious and paradoxically not. I hope to steer you in ways you might feel steadied by, but to mostly get out of your path. You have so much main character energy. You are a friend magnet, and your cousins' favorite playmate. You do not despise many things, but math homework is not your favorite and you tend to push around those papers like lima beans on a plate. I love the way freckles spill across your face, your red hair the dazzling expression of a recessive gene and the winning smile of a natural-born athlete. You step up to every plate and expect to hit a grand slam, and I'm not sure what fuels your impatience or grandiosity. It's okay to be a beginner - hard work, frustration, and discomfort all mean you're getting better. It would be tragic if the treasure and talents within you were buried under the expectations and opinions of others, or behind your own fear of failure. 

For your birthday we found a flight simulation so you could learn to take off and land a commercial 737. As a passenger I was overwhelmed by all the instructions for flipping switches and pressing buttons and pushing the pedals and pulling the yoke, but you handled it like a pro. We also have an appointment with the Ohio National Guard state historian, so you'll continue your traditional request to skip school, but we've managed to fill the day with a few otherwise enriching activities. Last week you visited the Violin Loft to trade for a larger viola, and your saxophone lessons with grandpa Rod are coming right along. When you're not practicing one of three instruments or playing outside, you're likely eating peanut butter.

Tollie you are responsible and resilient and you are just right. While you blow out your birthday candles, we will always blow confidence your way! You seem to possess a clear trust, rooted in your body, the muscle and bones that hold you together and say move. And I have complete faith in your brilliant brain.

Go outside! But please come home. We will always love you here.

Mom