some of the best seconds

from the 1 Second Every Day app
October 2016 - January 2017

staying woke

we bake

Sometimes the day feels gray and sometimes the world feels dark and most of the time, sugar helps.

stands

What stands between him and every possible future, I wonder?

whoa. it's been awhile {from the phone}

1. baby, hold my beer #battlingbatten

2. three boys in the backyard 

3. tailgate ready

4. our breaks together are delicious

5. cocktails of pragmatism and positivity #grayfoundation dinner

6. lawn boy

7.  escaping the bath
8.  Bobcats against Batten
9.  laundry help
10. preschool pumpkin patch
11. sciencing the hell out of cereal
12. never met a sandbox he didn't like

13. let it last (naptime + babyhood)

14. storm trooper, little pumpkin, geode 

15. Betz boys on the treat beat #northmarket

16. tree climbers at tailgating

17. find him by following books like breadcrumbs

18. bringing home a baby bumblebee

19. #sobig
20. one of the only places the US government makes cents #denvermint
21. mile high
22. why limit happy to an hour?
23. the Betz family does Denver
24. #fallelujah

25. may they forever look around with love in their eyes, Amen.  #betzboys at a mosque
26. sharing Shel
27. Tolliver turns 5
28. so many reasons to be thankful, three of them right here
29. pretty much a feast for the eyes
30. a little piece of their sister

31. two dates for dinner, and only one of them was waving at other ladies.  #spagio
32. introduction to Bill Nye
33. #betzboys do Southside
34. tell me what you want, what you really really want
35. oh what fun! #inglisprogrodinner
36. love him more than Ohio loves football

37. there was nap in the other room with my name on it, too

38. we loved her.  to death, as it turns out. #fiveyearsgone

39. slow mornings are my favorite

40. sometimes people pay me to talk #pinchme

41. Chinese lantern festival

42. noon years eve #ghpl

stretchmarks

There are thousands of ways to be stretched thin.
Most of the time I feel like I'm two minutes into ten different things, and none of them may ever see completion.  Most of the time that's okay.
I know I'm not the only mother whose heart extends in more directions than it can reach.
The entire trajectory of my life bent with their births, in the most surprising and satisfying ways.
I want to read and write and do yoga, run and bake and volunteer and sleep.  But mostly I want to throw my whole heart into raising these boys, mostly I want them to know, no matter what, how much they're loved.

we go about days

We go about most days making cookies and scheduling appliance repairs, sitting in traffic and supervising science experiments and settling squabbles and adding toilet locks to the Target list. We go about days folding laundry and kissing faces and keeping promises to play the game, to read the book, to not wait any one more seconds.  We go about nights administering essential oils and rubbing backs and sipping bourbon.

And I am extremely grateful for all of it, especially the smallest bits because they are so spectacularly fleeting.

But sometimes it feels like we're riding an elevator with an unsupervised toddler pushing buttons -- going down -- no, wait, going up -- nope, back down -- here we are again on the fourth floor  -- up, up!

There are new toys to play with and second grade bullies suddenly leading the country. There are birthdays to celebrate and sleep regression to deal with and brothers who are best friends. There are babies learning to walk and walls to climb and ceilings to smash and bad guys with guns. There are people who love each other but are afraid to show it and there are schools full of fabulous teachers and sometimes there are no green beans for dinner.

We aren’t lucky because things go smoothly, because life is easy.  We aren’t lucky because it all makes sense or because it goes our way. We are lucky because life is fragile and almost entirely out of our control, and because here we are again today.

* also we appear to go about days without getting dressed... whatever.