we go about days

We go about most days making cookies and scheduling appliance repairs, sitting in traffic and supervising science experiments and settling squabbles and adding toilet locks to the Target list. We go about days folding laundry and kissing faces and keeping promises to play the game, to read the book, to not wait any one more seconds.  We go about nights administering essential oils and rubbing backs and sipping bourbon.

And I am extremely grateful for all of it, especially the smallest bits because they are so spectacularly fleeting.

But sometimes it feels like we're riding an elevator with an unsupervised toddler pushing buttons -- going down -- no, wait, going up -- nope, back down -- here we are again on the fourth floor  -- up, up!

There are new toys to play with and second grade bullies suddenly leading the country. There are birthdays to celebrate and sleep regression to deal with and brothers who are best friends. There are babies learning to walk and walls to climb and ceilings to smash and bad guys with guns. There are people who love each other but are afraid to show it and there are schools full of fabulous teachers and sometimes there are no green beans for dinner.

We aren’t lucky because things go smoothly, because life is easy.  We aren’t lucky because it all makes sense or because it goes our way. We are lucky because life is fragile and almost entirely out of our control, and because here we are again today.

* also we appear to go about days without getting dressed... whatever.