bedtime

As Tucker stuck his feet through his star jammies tonight, he sounded sincere when he said that he loves nap time.  Nevermind that he hasn't taken a nap for two years, or that it was actually bedtime, or that sometimes he fights sleep.  He'd had a big weekend and it was rainy today and I understood what he meant - it feels good to pull on clean pajamas and crawl under warm quilts.  I couldn't wait to do it myself.

I slithered into bed benext to him, stomach down, chapter book in hand, ready to read fast.  After a few pages he put his palm on my shoulder and gave a quick rub, leaned in to kiss my shoulder.  I kept reading, slowing the words and savoring the closeness.  Most nights I feel rather depleted, very tired and totally touched out, but tonight I became completely aware of the fact that I may never be this loved.  Endurance is an invisible enterprise, motherhood a rather thankless charge.  Save for, this evening, a small hand on my shoulder that felt a lot like acupressure for my soul.