Think Twice

Under ordinary circumstances he is not allowed on furniture, but when Colby crept onto the couch this evening I didn't think twice about letting him stay there next to his sister.

And after Celia's bedtime snack, when Colby asked for the remains of her yogurt, I didn't think twice about letting him lick clean the carton.
JEB

On our Toes

He's been saying "dance" for several weeks.  When he hears music, he shouts "dan" and bends his knees and raises his arms and bounces.  He dances in his carseat.  He dances at the library. He dances on his chair.

Even when there is no music, we dance through the days.  Sometimes it feels like the melody is in a minor key, time marked by missteps and strange lurches and dragging lulls. Those are the times we cling to each other, as if hanging on to the bar for balance.  But swaying with joy that is contagious and invigorating, he adds harmony to things, and even through dips and turns I follow his lead to find footing again. 

I find it delightful to adjust my steps to his slower pace.  His curiousity and careful observation help me see things I'd otherwise step on, and together we bump into things I'd never notice through my own focus.  Other times we move swiftly, executing steps with quasi-precision, confident and carefree. We dance through the days, and then the rhythm shifts, my motions feel clumsy, we stumble.  But we’re partners, in a new pattern, and there are still moments of grace.  He twirls me out of darkness and into the sparkling world.
He keeps me on my toes.
My dance card is full.
JEB

The "Beads for Batten" sale continues this week -- Thursday, May 13th from 4pm-7pm, 340 Second Ave., Gallipolis.

Motherhood

There's a special bond between mother and daughter, one that - from the mothering side - I don't feel quite privy to.
I can plant kisses on her forehead and tuck barrettes into her hair, dress her in skirts that will never twirl and take photographs of her that she won't see.  We won't scrapbook or bake or bicker or vacation.
I can feel the ghost of her lips as a kiss on my cheek and hear happy noises that are no longer words, but she can't stretch her arms around me for a hug or reach for my hand to hold.  We will never gossip or shop or sew or negotiate or garden.
This is not an essay about all the things we won't do, all the purported specialness that's been aborted.
It's just an observation about motherhood, a reassurance that she is, that I am, that we are.  Motherhood can't be reduced to one essential experience, and even with all of our won'ts and nevers, there are moments that say to me "this is it."

JEB

For Now

For Now. The words build dread. For now implies the opposite of longevity.
For now though, I love her the way I loved her the first time I looked at her. More. And then I let the words dissolve.
JEB

Plucked

There's an angled patch that sticks up on top, a tiny curl at his nape, and empty spots on both sides that leave him looking like a half-plucked bird.

 It's just one of many things about him that totally tugs at my heartstrings...
JEB

Most of the Time

Most of the time if you do your best and look both ways you will triumph.
If you floss your teeth and say your prayers, you will prevail.
If you stay in school and if you wear clean undies, if you eat your veggies and if you do unto others, it’s safe to hope for the best.  
Most of the time.

 JEB

Dogged

Many dog breeds carry the genetic markers for Batten Disease.  Because canines and humans share much of the same genome, research on canine disease applies to people as well.  Research is currently underway to help dogs and children with Batten Disease live longer, healthier lives. 

In their relentless pursuit of a cure, BDSRA is sponsoring Barkin' for Batten, a charity dog walk, on May 22nd at Hannah Park in Gahanna.  If you live in central Ohio, whether you own a dog or not, we'd love to see you there.  Registration begins at 10:00am and the dog walk begins at 11:00am.  For more details, or to pre-register for the walk, please visit the Barkin' for Batten website.

No matter how stubborn her little body is against the disease, Celia will not survive.  No matter how willful families like ours are in fighting for a cure, we can't find it, or fund it, alone.  No matter how tenacious scientists are in their search, they need support.
Financial support is appreciated, but it's people who change people's lives.  People, and their pets.  Come walk with us, if you're able.

JEB

Last weekend the Beads for Batten event raised over $2000 in funds for infantile research, all of which will be matched, dollar for dollar, through the Emma's Hugs Challenge Grant (see sidebar).  
In addition to the bead sale, on Monday, May 3rd from 4:00 to 9:00 pm, 15% of each dinner bill at Bob Evans Restaurant (Rio Grande, Ohio) will be donated to BDSRA.  To participate, diners must present a coupon.