Poppy State Park

Where their boots can get muddy and they can catch fish and find snakes, where they get donuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner and chocolate all day long, where they get to ride in the gator and throw rocks in the creek, where they can pee in the trees and take baths in the big red tub, and the words almost heaven ring true.


It's not all about him.

Just mostly.
Hey, where are my underwear?  Underwear don’t have walking feet, they can’t just move away from ya.  Until you put your human legs through the holes, then they can move. 

I want to know about why my heart is making quiet boom booms?  I'll wait and ask Dad.

As I stirred in cream, Look, it's a coffee-tex! (a variation of water-tex, which should actually be vortex)

I went on a trip to Centikobia.  My cousins came with me.  We went to the Centikobia zoo.  They let me bring home a red fox to our house.  I cooked him dinner and put water in a bowl for him.

Let’s read Diarrhea of a Worm (the book is actually called Diary of a Worm)

Do you hear that tor-mato siren? 

Hey, I found an animal what looks like a pinecone! (a porcupine)

I don’t have any more hugs. And I’m empty of kisses too. 

I built our house with the workers.  They gave me a special jacket that was just my size and special shoes that were just my size and all their trucks came here and we worked hard to build this whole house.

And: Just take care of your own self, Mom, which may very well earn its own post soon.


decent work

My coffee cup keeps lying to me about how much I'm going to get done in a day.
But, if I make it my main mission to raise funny people, then I feel like I'm doing decent work.


I need to give us both more of it.

You know how sometimes you can write a word, one you've spelled accurately all your life, and  suddenly it looks incorrect, how you can stare at the letters for too long and wonder whether they're lined up right.

I feel like I do that to myself, glare at my body long enough that it begins to look wrong.

And as hard on myself as I can be, I'm afraid I'm sometimes harder on Tuck.  I mean, we don't wake up to be mediocre around here.  But he should be allowed to make mistakes.  He's six, and he's sensitive and he wants so much to please.
He forgets his lunchbox at school, dumps the last few sips of my watered down iced coffee so he and a buddy can use the cup in the sand pit, he makes a million mazes right next to the door so we're tracking in chalk dust all day, gets distracted by gears and plays instead of pajamas.
Listed here, it is clear to me that none of this should matter.

I fume gracelessly over the uneaten rice, over the absent-minded shower and the wet towels on the floor.  I require so much of him and maybe not quite enough of myself.  Or maybe the wrong things of myself.  I perseverate on calories when I should be making patience my intention.

It's hard to be human.  It's easy to snap when things don't go the way I want, but after a deep breath it's even easier to forgive his minor slips.  He is six and he is far from mediocre.  I sure hope he forgets my impatience and my angry moments and my meal disappointments.

I apologize to him, not for the first time today.  If I want him to turn a forgiving lens toward himself, I must too.  I soak up bath water with the towel that's already underfoot and I remember that he is just a boy, that he is a sponge. I want to be sure that what I pour into him is enough, so when the rest of the world wrings him out, he still trickles grace.  
Grace.  I know how to spell that.



He is three feet tall and seems to be made mostly of questions and salami sandwiches.
Or maybe of heavy machine parts.

If you've ever met Tolliver, chances are he's asked you why your body has bones.  He knows his does, and is very fascinated by what else is inside.  One of my favorite things at our house is when Andy comes home from work and Tollie asks about his day -- whether he has any good stories, how many patients he took care of, what their injuries were.
I love to watch Tollie's very capable body carry him forward through each day; it gives me that same feeling I get from a good book, the way a story can deliver a series of small astonishments, so does he.


busy in all the best ways

1.  grandview education foundation gala  via kristinpotsy
2.  pre party
3.  selfies in the snow  via jferris9674
4.  #forthekids

5.  on the beam @wendysgym
6.  Vday brunch
7.  parents day out
8.  Piggy & Gerald, #betzboys + cousins
9.  soap in the sink
10.  heart on a hillside

11.  brokering boardroom deals over salami and string cheese
12.  stocking up before another storm
13.  admiring winter's work
14.  monday morning commute
15.  #stagedoor
16.  Willy Wonka  #nchpleasureguild  via jnferris

17.  Celia at six months 
18.  flowers from Dot
19.  March seventh-ish at school
20.  baby albums
21.  all the wishing
22.  bike shopping in Cincy  #vanmoof
23.  octopus at the Newport
24.  he wants to be big too 

25.  more celebrating,  #gillsgirls + friends
26.  grandpa's birthday brunch,  #betzboys + cousins
27.  making it true
28.  at the zoo
29.  weekends win
30.  especially when the boys wake up early elsewhere via rht3627
31.  before church
32.  at the end of the day