11.10.2010

Nepenthe

I heard it on television, some time ago.  It was a national spelling bee word, and it's rolled around in my head for awhile.  When the contestant asked for the definition, I learned it meant solace from grief.  Its origins are Greek, the word mentioned in ancient literature and mythology as a "drug of forgetfulness."
I am aware of my own medicine for sorrow.  He is literally a little anti-depressant. He jumps on her bed, tosses pillows and burrows beneath quilts, where she can only lie still.  He flips the light switch on and off, calls out light and dark, watches the sparkling crystals spin, when she is silent and sees black.  He pulls books off her shelf, scatters dolls on the floor, plays with toys that otherwise sit mocking, unemployed.
I'm not sure whether sadness is an elected condition, but choosing happiness is often hard.  I choose it over and over, hoping it will become habit.  I look for ways to alleviate heartache and I always find one in him.  Chasing away the sad is a big responsibility for such a small person.  His opiate effect lets me forget for a moment though.  And I'm pretty sure he'll always help me remember, too.
JEB

7 comments:

Andy and Jenni said...

It's Andy here. You have just been given a glimpse into the mind of Jenni Betz. We've all read her inspired prose, seen her beautiful pictures, and shed tears with her. Most of us fill our heads with things other than words. Not my wife though - Jenni leaves little pieces of her brain lying around sometimes. Bits of paper, envelopes, grocery receipts and the like are found in bowls and used as bookmarks. It's how she catalogs her inspiration. I guess you have to be ready to record it when inspiration strikes - like a word from a spelling bee she heard "some time ago."

But this blog title is a eunonym for for it's author and subject. Jenni (just like that Crazy Spelling Bee Girl from '97 - eunonym was her winning word) couldn't wait to put to use this rarely used word. When words that help us treat our sorrow come from a word that means "medicine for sorrow"... well that's just fun for all of us. Thank you, Jenni.

Sanna said...

You can really put words to feelings like no other. It´s like I'm reading my own story and the feelings I can not understand gets an explanations on your blog. it helps me deal with my own thoughts and to explain them to others in an understandable way. Thank you for that Jenni. I wantet to show you a video I made. It´s about Nova. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQup6M477_U

Sanna said...

You can really put words to feelings like no other. It´s like I'm reading my own story and the feelings I can not understand gets an explanations on your blog. it helps me deal with my own thoughts and to explain them to others in an understandable way. Thank you for that Jenni. I wantet to show you a video I made. It´s about Nova. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQup6M477_U

Beth Ann said...

I have only one question totally unrelated to this poignant post. Is the photo on the dresser Celia's namesake? I often think of her as your Celia's guardian angel, waiting for her in heaven.

zarniegall said...

amazing perspective, amazing words and most of all amazing grace...in your church, there is tuck: )

Andy and Jenni said...

Beth, the photo you can see on Cel's dresser is not Celia. There is a photo of her on Cel's bookshelf though, and one in our dining room. I'll have to show you :) I agree with you, and imagine Celia and a great crowd of good people, maybe even Ben, waiting to greet her...JEB

Debi said...

Such heart felt words and a precious Joy Boy. God knew what you needed when He gave Tucker to you.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi

P.S. crazy busy 10 hour days at work so I havn't gotten to check up on my blogs for a few days. Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers.