To Be Continued

While merely a single breath seemed to anchor her body to this world, we spent last weekend soaking her in and loving her out.
And then for several days the funeral loomed, a fixed point on the calendar of sorrow, an opportunity to focus our diffuse yet infinite mourning.  Nearly every action we took last week was geared toward the service.
Now we face the hollow expanse of life without our daughter.  What next?  I know we'll find ways to honor her life instead of losing our minds.  You've helped us with that already.  
The more confusedly my thoughts entwine, though, the more solid grows my silence.  I want to say thank you, but better than just that.  Some combination of grief and exhaustion and newborn has stolen every word I need.  
I'll find them, soon.


Laura said...

sending hugs and prayers tho we haven't met. i hope you can get some rest. He will carry you through the broad expanse... today first, one day at a time. praying for you!

Debi said...

I loved the bright smile of the picture for this post!
Know we are here, praying and loving and sometimes not knowing what to say other than we love you and our hearts are hurting with you.
Love and hugs and prayers!

Sara said...

Much love and many hugs from the McIver family. You are in our thoughts every day.

Tiffany said...

When I saw you and Andy and your family last week at the service, all I could think about was how strong you all are and how you all loved Celia so incredibly much. I have been thinking about you all and praying for you all daily...praying that you find a way to breathe in and out and keep putting one foot in front of the other...and to find the joy that is still there. xoxo

Callie said...

Sending prayers and love your way. Thought of Celia today and how amazing her smile is that it can make me, a stranger, smile through a computer screen.

Ninja Cate said...

Bless your heart, sweet mama. I can't imagine what you're feeling between grieving, a newborn and a toddler. Hang in there....

-Hugs, Prayers and Love from Cate, Zoey and Junior

KB said...

I love this photo. What a beautiful girl with a beautiful smile! Wish I'd "known" her longer, but I'm sure glad for finding your blog.

(((hugs))) to you all.

Bridget said...

Ellie paused while coloring yesterday and said "I miss Celia. She was my best friend." She later asked if she would get to see Celia again? I told her someday the two of them would be dancing up a storm in heaven.

Today she asked "Is God playing with Celia...cause I bet he'd be a lot of fun."

We are all thinking of you...everyday...and Celia continues to remind me to take time to play and enjoy my every moment with my girls and little Benjamin.

Lots of Love, Bridget

Groves said...

"I have learned rapidly in the school of anguish this week, and am many years older than I was a few days ago." {Robert Dabney, 1855}

There is no way you owe thanks. Instead, anyone who has the pleasure of knowing Celia and the rest of your family thanks *you*.

Look at the smile on that beautiful girl---Celia, how you are missed!

Cathy in Missouri