on loving these boys

I love the boys as hard as a I can and I paint my nails while one of them yammers on about early pueblo life. I look them in the eye when they complain about the new "no hat" rule and I print the lyrics they're trying to learn so they can audition for the recess version of Mary Poppins.

I love them as hard as I can and I try to let go of most of my own ideas about what they should be studying or how they should be spending their time - skipping batting practice or playing frisbee instead of studying for geometry or eating frosting from the can rather than the chicken pesto I prepared. I sit on the porch next to them with my own book, because the teacher's text said they haven't finished the assigned reading. I help them draft letters to advocate for themselves and for others and we wonder about the giant cosmic question mark astronomers noticed recently and I think this may be more important than being on the right page by the right date. I wash the uniforms and go to the games and sit on the bleachers and I know I don't need to win the lottery, they are the lottery. 

baseball images by Jeff Shirazi