loquacious

I remember when Tucker, having gone to the theater with Grandpa Rod, came home and retold the plot of a movie in such remarkable detail that the retelling may have taken longer than the film itself.

Hank does this now, recounts stories that circumnavigate the globe before I catch any possibility of a conclusion.

indefinite uncertainty

“Whatever inspiration is, it’s born from a continuous I don’t know.” 

Why is there a hawk by the back door?

Is it a red tail? Is it asleep? Could it be sick? Why is it standing on one leg?

I wonder if it's a girl or a boy? 

Maybe it just ate breakfast and has that tired feeling that comes with a full belly?

The boys stand and watch through the window, singularly focused, all four of them. This is how we spend our days now, I guess, watching a bird sunbathe or whatever, letting wonder become a makeshift raft for the slipstream of uncertainty.

Other times we hedge against any lack of sureness with an arsenal of habits and routines that make it feel containable, controllable, workable. Maybe that's just me, actually.

We are all trying our best to cope with the fundamental precariousness of each day.

The hawk takes off, after more than an hour, and a swarm of new inquiry emerges.

All these question marks, I think, may be valuable All these I don't knows, a small phrase that seems to fly on mighty wings.

*Polish poet Wisława Szymborska, in her Nobel Prize acceptance speech. 

postcards

I'm trying to think of this space as a way to send myself something like a postcard, to create a simple relationship between right now and the future.

SOS

Do you have time? Before the children wake, but after coffee, can you take a walk? I'll meet you at the corner. I need you to help me sort through all the noise. Are you holding up okay? Tell me what the hard part is. Tell me something that might delight you today, is there anything you're looking forward to? Do you even have a dinner plan? Our dining table is littered with books and markers and it feels like I can only highlight the monotony.

Do you have time? After the bedtime routine, is it even a routine any more, can we meet on the back patio? Here’s a grapefruit cocktail and a leftover slice of pie. Look at these new elastic waist shorts, plus they have pockets. How did homeschool go today? Did you hear about the plan to pivot? Did you see the sun? Did you catch three deep breaths because living in this ellipsis feels hard. We should probably go to bed before we have to do this again tomorrow. I wonder what we are becoming other than undone?

on pear-shaped days

We're doing our best to put things in front of the boys that might encourage curiosity and build generosity.

please don't ring the bell unless you have wine or teach math

part of the reason I may not have coherent adult thoughts on current events

What if humans had leaves growing from their heads, and trees grew hair instead?

What does mother nature really look like?

If you drop a bar of soap, does the soap get dirty or does the floor get clean?

What do freckles feel like? I should ask Tolliver!

There are three kinds of excuse mes, right, when you burp, when you need someone to move and when you want a turn to say something?

I actually want to dye my hair green and I want the green to be so seeable.