Time Machine

(Reader warning - Andy's blog posts are not clever and may be poorly written)

If you had a time machine would you go forward or back?
When you work in health care, patient interactions may become scripted.  One of the last things I say to my patients when I am wrapping up an exam is always "Is there anything I can do for you to make you more comfortable?"  If I've done my job they don't ask for more pain medicine so they always ask for one of two things. A: a million dollars, or B:  that I undo the traumatic incident that landed them in my care.  It's like we are reading from the same bad script!  Laughter is good medicine though, so I go to my snappy one-liner: "I'll let you try out my time machine as soon as it is finished."  Ha, ha, ha.  Believe me, after 6 years I gag a little every time I say it... but it still works.
I've been guilty of saying to Jenni that I wish I had a time machine.  Once, after I mumbled about it, she asked me if would I go forward or backward.  Picture me with a blank stare and my mouth slightly agape.  I had never thought that far myself.  Here is what I decided:
When I really think about it I would never want to undo Celia.  She has changed me.  Not all in a good way, but changed me deeply nonetheless, and mostly for the better.  Some days I don't like who I am. And a lot of that has to do with the cards we have been dealt.  Go back in time and don't have Celia, problem solved, right?  But I look forward to the man I will become.  I would choose to go forward, and probably not even very far.  I can't hurt any more than I have, than I do.  I can't miss her any more.  The Celia she was is already gone.  Besides, to go back in time now would take away the greatest thing I have ever been a part of, this family of four.

Celia gives our yesterdays memories and Tucker gives our tomorrows dreams.

Andy

Post edit:  Andy doesn't give himself enough credit.  I'm glad my future is with him.  JEB