The tenderness of God is not twirling around in our living room.  So I look for it elsewhere.
My tendency is to search and search, to compile a large list of places I spot it.  But to be honest, sometimes I have trouble finding it.
I'm not sure why I feel like I need to suppress the signs of my disappointment, to constantly cover them with the glitter of gratefulness.  And even trying, I may only partly succeed.  It can be hard to love where your child is when it's not where you wish she could be.


zarniegall said...

"I never wanted to go away, and the hard part now is the leaving you all. I'm not afraid, but it seems as if I should be homesick for you even in heaven." -- Louisa May Alcott in Little Women.
One of my favorite movies...sending all of my energy so you have some left over for Tuck...praying and thinking of you all...not pity...just compassion: )

Poppy John said...

Jenni Baby,
"It can be hard to love where your child is when it's not where you wish she she could be." I feel the same way about you. My heart cries...and I love you so much.


Poppy John said...

Oh, by the way, double "she" was intentional.

Beth Ann said...

I know that the reality of where Celia is now, is much heavier than the lightness with which you answer when asked how she's doing. It's like a ritual, I have to ask when I already know the answer and I know that the truth hurts so much more than the positively spun reply you give. But if it's okay with you (and you know you can tell me how you really feel w/o offending me), I'll continue to ask because it's just one minute way to show I haven't forgotten and I care.

Christy said...

You have penned my thoughts exactly. I think about you all the time. I'm sorry there's nothing anyone can say or do to make things better. I wish and pray with all my might there was. Sending love your way.

Debi said...

I can't even begin to imagine, and so a pray for God's strength and grace and hope and love to cover you and your family.
Love and hugs and prayers,