so full

So full of gratitude this Mother's Day, for my own mother and for all the women whose hearts have mothered me, step-mother, sister, mother-in-law, friend, for all the ladies who've modeled manners and morals and grammar and grace.

So full of gratitude for my children, for the way they push far my every limit and pull hard my every emotion, for cheeks that hurt from smiling at them and the hip that's sore from carrying them, for the loud kind of sobs in the shower at the end of a long day with them, for long days with them and for minutes without them, for all the things I've learned from them, for both my boys here and for the girl who is not.

And for their father.

So full of gratitude.  Ridiculously grateful.  I said the word more than once today, lightly, like a damsel in distress, like I plead please with Tuck to put down his Legos and put on his shoes quickly.  Loudly, like surprise at a party, like I shout Tollie's name before he steps off the curb into the street.  I finally settled on a whisper, repeating it softly, reverently, like an Amen at the end of a prayer.  Grateful.