this stuff, can't make it up

Early morning kitchen mission: Mom, can you go somewhere else? I don’t want you to see me getting the peanut butter.

Curious: So, are there like a bunch of markers inside the printer?

Action figure play: This guy's super power is parallel parking.
*I'm taking notes.

Hey Siri, make it to the biggest loudest volume you can.
Siri: That's very loud. Are you sure?

Who knows: I think there's a factory in my butt that makes feet for the walking toot rainbows.

Feeling a little little and a little left out over winter break: I want to be unbrothered now.

At dinner, over fish and vegetables: I’m not good at cutting this stuff. I’m only good at cutting ice cream and cake.